I mentioned yesterday that I feel as though I am on my last layer of the onion (stress) and that I think it is built up from Daddy's cancer.
Well, yesterday I was just exhausted - so tired that at times I could not breath, stand, balance, nothing. Really I don't know if it was exhaust but it was something. That something I fear and just don't want to have this feeling at all.
The first class was hard, not normal. I could not do the laying postures. I just felt funny, my legs where shaking, my fingers tingled, and my head, wow, it was doing something so crazy I could not believe the feeling. I was going to pass on the double, but right before, I felt like this sudden burst of energy (that lasted 15 min) so I took the next class.
The second class it was the standing series that I had a problem with, which is good because the laying series is really where your body is put through the challenge.
I got to the dreaded camel, I decided I wanted to lay it out, Zeb called me out, I got up and tried to push it through. Again all those emotions come rushing to the head. Same as the first class. It was crazy, scary, something that I really feared and still fear. I think it is all the stress from my dad. After the 1st set is complete, I roll forward, just trying to balance out, Zeb's saying roll over roll over, I do it rushes like a river. 2nd set, started all over again, rushes, I am breathing and just trying to make it through the set. I stop 10 seconds into it, roll over. Finally done!
End of class, I get in the car, and bust out crying! All the way home - Called Daddy just to tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. Cried on the phone to him! (Then he had to go to say go bye to someone) So that was over!
Now, I am wondering if there is anything onion left! Lets hope not, because I am a runner not a fighter.
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